That is the quote from the movie Ace Ventura Pet Detective, when certain payment options are offered to Ace. The bottom line is I refuse to write anything about you know who. If I was going to answer this prompt honestly then the answer would be I disagree with all public figures equally. Back in the 60’s and 70’s public figures that were running for office created and put forth ideas on how the government should be run for the people. Then they went out and tried to persuade their constituency that their ideas were better for the common good than their opponents. Today what public figures do is to take polls on how their constituency feel on certain issues and then spew that back to them when they are running for office. There is never an original idea. They never really answer any question that is directed toward them (listening Ms. Vice President) for fear of offending someone or causing irreputable damage to their career. It is reported that everyone is afraid of you know who. It would be more accurate to say that people in public office are afraid of everything. You could look at this question from another perspective. I could say that I do not disagree with any public figure, including you know who, because none of them do anything that you can disagree with. They may say some things that you disagree with but the fact that they rarely do anything, makes what they say meaningless. I guess what I disagree with the most is that they are getting paid a lot of money to do nothing. You think they would be happy with a job like that, but they do seem to be a bunch of sour pusses. The question is will we be able to survive with that do nothing attitude. I am feeling a little warm at the moment. Goodbye.
Pirates Morning Report: One Big Inning Not Enough This Time
Final Score: Pirates 4 Angels 5
Why The Pirates Lost: Even though it was not a grand slam, Oneil Cruz cleared the bases with a two out double and Connor Joe followed with a single to score Cruz, giving the Pirates a 4-run 5th inning. This time it was not enough. The other 8 innings they got 3 hits, no walks, and struck out 13 times. Thirteen out of 24 outs were strikeouts. The right fielder of the Angels was seen nodding off a couple of times. Here are the 12 position players batting averages over the last 15 games. Grandal has only batted 9 times with an .111 average. Get ready to be amazed. From 1st to worst: Cruz .327 Jo .292 Williams .239 Reynolds and Hayes .211 Bart .197 Tellez .189 Triolo .188 McCutchen .180 Suwinski .167 Olivares .143 Taylor .111. Eight of the 13 position players are not hitting over .200 over the last 15 games. It is a wonder that the Pirates have won any games over the last 2 weeks. Perez yesterday was not sharp and was charged with 4 runs on 8 hits in 5+ innings. Luis Ortiz came in and quickly got racked to turn a 4-2 lead into a 5-4 deficit that these anemic bats could not overcome. The Pirates are 17-21 with the Cubs and the Brewers on the horizon.
Key Moment Of The Game: The Pirates had just taken a 4-2 lead in the bottom of the 5th. The Angels had the big break back inning, and it was not cheap. A 90MPH ground ball that just got through the infield started the inning. A 102 MPH liner to left put runners on 1st and 2nd knocking Perez out of the game. Shelton called on Luis Ortiz. In the past, this has been a good move considering the contrast in styles and Ortiz being a right hander. Like most things recently this was not the case this time. Pitch 2 a 107 MPH single to left, score 4-3 Pirates. Pitch 3 a 106 MPH double to left, score tied 4-4. Pitch 8 a 98 MPH 370 feet sacrifice fly, score 5-4 Angels. In the blink of an eye the Angels broke back, and the Pirates never challenged that lead.
Next Game: Tomorrow night, Cubs in Pittsburgh. The Pirates announced yesterday that Paul Skenes is going to pitch Saturday. Big whoop. What’s he going to do, pitch 6 scoreless innings so the game will be 0-0 after 6. Unless the Pirates find a way to start scoring runs they could have 4 Hall of Famers pitching and they would lose. Three players should be off this team come 6:40 Friday night. It won’t happen but the season most likely will be over if management does not get some new blood on this team to get this offense going. What a 38 game disaster so far.
Pirates Morning Report: Priester And Batters Back To Normal
Final Score: Pirates 0 Angels 9
Why The Pirates Lost: Quinn Priester reverted back to giving up his obligatory 1 run per inning and Pirates got back to not scoring at all. It is hard to say who was worse. At least Quinn Priester is just one person. The Pirates only had 3 hits and a walk. They had 2 at bats with runners in scoring position. You’ve heard of groupthink. This was groupstink. Priester started out fine, pitching the first 3 innings like his previous 2 starts. He gave up one hit no walks, mostly getting soft contact. Then the top of the 4th came.
The Key Moment Of The Game: The 4th inning started off innocently enough. A ground ball that found a hole on the right side of the infield and a weak fly out to right field. In a blink of an eye everything went to hell. There was a stolen base, but the next batter walked on 4 straight pitches. Priester for lack of a better term went into the twilight zone. With runners on 1st and 2nd, up stepped 35 year old, I’ve seen better days, Kevin Pillar. This led to the strangest pitch sequence I saw all year. The first pitch Grandal set up outside but as Priester started his pitch he moved quickly inside and Priester missed inside. OK. The next pitch Grandal set up outside, stayed there, and Priester missed inside again. ? The third pitch Grandal did the same thing, set the target up outside. This time Priester put the pitch on the inner part of the plate about thigh high and it was blasted into the left field seats. Did he even look at the catcher? The next inning his brain fog continued as he butchered a play on a comebacker to the mound where they had a runner dead to rights between 2nd and 3rd. Either that or Rawhide Rowdy had been working with him showing how not to do it.
The Next Game: This afternoon, Angels in Pittsburgh. The Pirates need a win tonight to be able to go 4-2 against the Angels and the Rockies who have won a combined 21 games. I honestly think that with this current group, the bats are never going to come alive. Right now, no one is really hitting. There will be a day off tomorrow and then the Pirates start a 10 game stretch where they play 7 against the Cubs and 3 against the Brewers with 7 of those games on the road. This stretch of games could determine how the rest of season is going to go. It would be the perfect time to turn this thing around. If they don’t and lose 8 out of 10 with the continued non hitting, the season could be over early. Will management make any moves on Thursday or Friday. Only The Shelton knows.
Pirates Morning Report: KCG+OGS=Win
Final Score: Pirates 4 Angels 1
Why The Pirates Won: No deep analysis here, Mitch Keller pitched a complete game (KCG) and Edward Olivares hit a grand slam (OGS) to send them to their 3rd win in a row. Keller went the distance, giving up 1 run on 5hits, walking 1, while striking out 5. He did have some problems, as we will see when we get to key moments of the game but the good news here is, he seemed to get stronger as the game wore on. He struck out 2 in the 9th and his fastball touched 97 MPH. Without question his best start of the year by a long shot. It was nice to see Olivares come out of his funk with a double and the home run. Bryan Reynolds had a double and a single hitting the ball hard, at least 95MPH, all 4 at bats. Make no mistake though, the Pirates as a whole are still in a hitting funk. After the grand slam, thanks to a caught stealing, the Pirates only sent 3 men to the plate 4 of the last 5 innings and really never threatened to score another run. Maybe today will be the day.
Key Moments Of The Game: No question the grand slam was the big hit of the game. The Pirates had the 4-0 lead going into the top of the 4th and right off the bat Keller gave up a lead off single. Mickey Moniak scorched a drive into right center field and the runner from first tried to score. Oneil Cruz threw a one hop bullet from short right field that nailed the non-sliding runner at the plate by a half of step. This at least kept the Angels from having that break back inning. These were the first two hits that Keller had given up in the game and the score quickly could have become 4-1 with a runner on second with no outs. There was another sharply hit ball but right at Bryan Reynolds for the 2nd out. In the top of the 7th with the score 4-1 the Angels opened the inning with a double. Keller was almost as quick as Jared Jones getting out of a jam, as he induced 3 straight ground ball outs in 7 pitches. From that point on Keller mowed them down to pitch the complete game.
Next Game: Tonight, Angels in Pittsburgh. Quinn Priester takes the hill for the Pirates tonight looking to get his 3rd straight quality start. The Angels are starting Patrick Sandoval who has a career record of 18-42 but with an ERA of 3.98. He has not been quite that good this year but let’s hope his hard luck continues. The good news here is he is left handed so all 270 lbs. of Rawhide Rowdy should be on the bench. The Pirates are .001 ahead of the Reds and moved into 3rd place just 4 games behind the Cubs and Brewers. Can we make it 4 in a row. The Shadow Shelton is looking at that lineup card right now thinking how can I screw this up. Would he dare put Tellez in against a left hander? Only The Shelton knows.
Be The Czar Of Baseball
For one day I would love to be the Czar of baseball. I would have complete autonomy over the game and make the following changes. Add two more teams immediately making a 32 team league, forming four 8 team Divisions. The first year I would do it by geography. There would be no American and National League. The schedule would be entirely within the division. Each team would play each other 22 times going back to a 154 game schedule. With each team playing each other that many times a true division champ should be crowned. The divisions would be named Aaron, Ruth, Robinson and Clemente. At the end of the season the division winners would play each other in an eleven game series. The series would run 3, 3, 2, and 2. If after 10 games the series was tied then the team that scored the most runs in the series would have the home field advantage for game 11. If the runs are tied, then there would be other tiebreakers to determine home field. The World Series would be 11 games with the same format. The next year, the teams that finished 1, 3, 5, and 7 in the Aaron division would move over to the Ruth division. The teams that finished 2, 4, 6, and 8 in the Ruth division would move over to the Aaron Division. You would do the same thing in the Robinson and Clemente division. That would guarantee a new division winner in two of the divisions. The fans in each city would get to see four new teams. The following year the Aaron and the Robinson division would make the switch, along with the Ruth and Clemente. Third year Clemente-Aaron, and Ruth-Robinson would be making the switch. Fans would get to see different teams every year. This would put back more significance to the regular season with only 4 teams advancing to the playoffs. It is abundantly clear that baseball is not really a playoff sport with such a long season. For two straight seasons the National League has sent the 6th seed to the World Series. I can envision those tremendous 11 game series right now and crowning a true and deserving champion.
Pirates Morning Report: Pirates Win Despite Themselves.
Final Score: Pirates 5 Rockies 3
Why The Pirates Won: Despite playing Jack Suwinski and Rowdy(Rawhide) Tellez, and running the bases like little leaguers the Pirates were able to score 5 runs. The bullpen had their best game in a long time pitching the last 3 and 2/3 innings giving up only 1 hit and a walk. Oneil Cruz had the big day with a double and home run, driving in the go ahead runs in the bottom of the 6th with a 2 run shot. Yes, both Suwinski and Tellez did contribute to the win yesterday, but they still should not be on the field, especially Rowdy. Barry Feltner, I mean Falter, went 5 and 1/3 innings getting touched up for 2 home runs which accounted for all of the Rockies runs. The Pirates made some nice plays in the field and for the third straight game did not commit an error, at least in the field. Which brings us to the key moments of the game
Key Moments Of The Game. The Pirates made two base running gaffes and got away with both. The first was in the bottom of the fourth. With one out Ke’Bryan Hayes hit a little 69 MPH blooper into right field for a base hit. Oneil Cruz hit a ball that a seeing eye dog would have known was not going to be caught that hit the top of the Clemente wall. However, Ke’Bryan Hayes couldn’t tell that and did not look at his 3rd base coach for help. Even though Hayes was late arriving at 3rd base, the coach sent him home anyway. Cruz, who was just admiring his drive because he thought it was a home run, was late trying to go to second. Either one of them would have been out except Jacob Stallings dropped the ball twice enabling Hayes to get back to third and Cruz to second. Rawhide Rowdy then hit a mammoth 65 MPH ground ball that was so weak it could score the run and move Cruz to third. The Rockies should have gotten Hayes at third and Pirates would have not scored. In the big 6th inning after Cruz’s home run, Rawhide Rowdy hit a towering fly ball to deep right field, admiring it all the way and it was only a huge ricochet off the Clemente Wall that enabled him to get to second. Even with his speed if he would have run from the beginning, he would have had a triple. Suwinski hit a 73 MPH line drive to left. The third base coach, teaching Rowdy a lesson, sent him home. He rumbled, stumbled, bumbled his way home and just beat the throw, to give the Pirates that often-needed insurance run. If Suwinski’s hit had been 75 MPH he would have been out. The Pirates have won, count them, 2 in a row. They are 16-19 and vaulted over the Cardinals into 4th place.
Next Game: Tonight, Angels in Pittsburgh. Mitch Keller will take the hill for the Pirates tonight against the Troutless Angels. Will Keller ever pitch another good game? Only The Shelton knows. The Pirates have a little momentum finally. Will they be able to keep it going against the Angels. Only The Shelton knows. He can’t wait to fill out that lineup card with his buddies Jack and Rowdy penciled in. Oh, I think a lefty is going so we have hope.
Pirates Morning Report: Great Pitching Performance And A Miracle
Final Score: Pirates 1 Rockies 0
Why The Pirates Won: Jared Jones had a spectacular outing going 7 innings, giving up just 1 hit, striking out 10, walking none, while throwing 96 pitches. I guess the Pirates aren’t saving him for the playoffs anymore. Three weeks ago, he could throw no more than 59 pitches. It is amazing what desperation can do to a team’s thinking. The miracle was Jack Suwinski snapping an 0 for 12 slump by getting the walk off hit. Holy Moses, he even went to the opposite field. Again, another retched offensive performance by these pathetic Pirates as they could only manage 4 hits through the first 8 innings, while walking 3 times. They did only strike out 7 times. The unexpected high number of balls in play must have exhausted the Rockies in the field. Maybe that is why they got only one hit. Bednar pitched a clean but shaky 9th inning, giving up a deep drive to left center field that only the wind kept in the park. The inning ended with a line drive that was snared by a diving Edward Olivares. The Pirates stopped the losing streak and have a chance at a series win. That is really scary. Another day when they may come out of the slump.
Key Moments Of The Game: The walk off hit by Suwinski was miraculous and was the big play of the game. The Rockies did not get a hit until the top of the 5th when Elias Diaz, the former Pirate catcher hitting .301, led off the inning with a double. Jones got out of the inning on just 6 pitches, getting a strike out on 3 pitches, a pop out on 2 pitches, and a ground out on 1 pitch. Talk about putting out the fire in a hurry. The Rockies never got a man on base the rest of the game.
Next Game: This afternoon, Rockies in Pittsburgh. The Pirates needed the best pitched game of the year and a miracle walk off to beat one of the worst teams in the league. Barry (There Is No Way I Am Pitching That Good) Falter will take the hill for the Pirates going against, are you ready, Ryan (I Have Never Felt Better) Feltner. Feltner vs. Falter, while I have always feltner that Falter is better that Feltner, however if Feltner loses tomorrow, it will not be his falter. After this game I definitely feel a trade between the Pirates and the Rockies. Falter going to the Rockies for a player to be named later. The Rockies really want Falter and Feltner pitching back to back. I do not fault them for this. I would have felt the same way. I could go on and on, but I am a merciful writer. Could we just please score some runs today.
Pirates Morning Report: It’s Time For Replacements.
Final Score: Pirates 2 Rockies 3
Why The Pirates Lost: You’re kidding right. The Pirates made the no brainer move, pun intended, sending down Henry Davis and recalling Yasmani Grandal. It is time for this management team to get some testicles and shake up this team. The replacements are ready and are hitting. Check out these slash lines and this is not a misprint. Ji Hwan Bae .414/.516/.577, Nick Gonzales .358/.420/.575 and Jake Lamb .394/.483/.606. Now I know this is AAA but all of these players are slugging well over .500 and Bae is getting on base more than he is making outs. Who would these guys replace. Try ANYBODY. For now, I will take Jack Suwinski, Jared Triolo, and Rowdy (Rawhide) Tellez. Last nights game had some mind boggling stats. Six innings the Pirates went 3 up 3 down. Six innings they failed to get a hit. Their hitting coach said it is all about the process. WELL, THEIR PROCESS STINKS DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Their problems can be summed up by one pitch in the bottom of the ninth to Ke’Bryan Hayes. The first pitch was right down the middle. It couldn’t have been more down the middle and Hayes just looked at it for a called strike. That is one great process. The Pirates are now 14-19 losing their last 5 games. Here is the real scary thing. In the last three series, the Pirates have faced teams with worst records than theirs, when each series started. Their record is 1-6. Can’t wait to play the Dodgers and the Braves.
Key Moments Of The Game: Anytime a Pirate came to the plate. When the Rockies scored their first run on a home run you knew the game was over. Cruz did hit a home run in the bottom of 9th to make it close, but you knew they were going to lose.
Next Game: This afternoon, Rockies in Pittsburgh. Jared Jones will start for the Pirates. Jones is debating whether or not to fake an illness. He was seen in the locker room staring at 2-day old Sushi. He might have been thinking why are Suwinski and Tellez playing. What is the thinking here. I do not think there are going to be any miracles. There are 3 solid options in AAA. This team needs help. How about giving them some management.
Pirates Morning Report: Thirty Two Games In
The Pirates stand at 14 wins and 18 losses. Talk about a tale of two halves. First 16 games 11-5, the last 16 games 3-13. I will take a look at the offense, defense and pitching. With all the stats and analytics today, it still boils down to three things when it comes to batting and pitching. Batting you have to get on base, score runs and then compare how you are doing with the rest of the league. The comparison stat is OPS+ with 100 being league average. This stat compares a batter with the rest of league based on the ballpark, competition and a variety of other factors. With pitching you have to be good at what you can control, home runs, walks and strikeouts. This is Fielding Independent Pitching known as FIP. As a pitcher you have to prevent runs and the comparison stat here is ERA+, again with 100 being league average. I always use Baseball References Defensive Efficiency to evaluate how a team is fielding. This takes in all aspects of fielding not just errors. Let us see how the Pirates shake out.
The Hitting: They are 15th in on base percentage, 21st in runs scored and 24th in OPS+. Quite frankly I thought they would be worse. All the runs they scored in the beginning of the season must have helped them score more runs than 9 other teams in baseball. These stats show that they are not that bad about getting on base but have not been able to take advantage. Right now, the Pirates have 5 players hitting above league average. A very small sample size Joey Bart (154), Connor Joe (140), the surprising Alika Williams (120) Bryan Reynold (115) and Ke’Bryan Hayes (101). On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have Henry Davis (44) Jack Suwinski (55), Jared Triolo and Rowdy Tellez each at 61. This means they are performing 39 to 56% below the major league average hitter. In my view all of these players are disappointing if not surprising. The biggest surprise here is Triolo. I thought he would have to perform like he did the last 2 months of the season for the Pirates to have success and he has not come close. As a whole the team has lacked power which was supposed to be a plus. There are only 4 teams that have hit less home runs than the Pirates. Ke’Bryan Hayes has been one of the disappointments here. The last 2 months of the season he slugged .501. So far this year it’s .345.
Pitching: The Pirate staff is 17th in FIP, 15th in runs allowed and 12th in ERA+. This time I thought the Pirates might be better. The rotation did get off to a slow start and the hitting bailed them out in the first 10 games or so. The Pirates are right in the middle of the pack with these key pitching stats. This has not been good enough to overcome the horrible hitting over the last 2 weeks. The Pirates have 3 starters that are above average, Martin Perez (144), Jared Jones (126), and Quinn Priester (122). Out of the bullpen, we have small sample size Colin Holderman (317), Josh Fleming (184), Hunter Stratton (136), Luis Ortiz (131), and Roansy Contreras (100). What is amazing that 2 pitchers with ERA+ well above 100 are in the minors, Ryder Ryan and Jose Hernandez. Missing from the list is Mitch Keller, Aroldis Chapman and David Bednar. Despite all the hype about Mitch Keller being the Pirate ace and what a great year he had last year, the truth is 2022 and 2023 were the same. His ERA+ was 104 for both years. This computes to being 4% better than the average starter in baseball. Nice, but not someone you want to pitch in game one of a playoff series. If this team is going to do anything Bednar and Chapman better get their act together even if they start to hit again.
Fielding: The Pirates are 12th in Defensive Efficiency. I thought they would do better, but this is still one of their highest positions. Part of the reason I don’t think they are better is because they have not played Michael Taylor enough. I know this team needs offense, but this is a premier centerfielder, and you need to play him, bat him 9th and take your lumps. He is not really doing that bad at the plate when you compare him to Tellez, Davis and Suwinski and they are either terrible or below average fielders. This is one aspect of the Pirates that needs to get better even though it is tied for the highest ranking of any phase of Pirate baseball at the moment.
What’s Next: I was going to speculate on what some of moves the Pirates might make. Trying to predict what this management team might or might not do is just about impossible. First of all, their bizarre batting orders and line ups are enough to drive you crazy. That could be an entire blog but let me give a couple of examples. When Andrew McCutchen is put in the lineup he should bat in one spot and one spot only, lead off. HE IS NOT A CLEAN UP HITTER. The opening game against the Giants they started Oneil Cruz against a left hander. The next night against a fire balling right hander he is on the bench. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? Like everybody else I will just wait until later today to see if the Pirates are going to make any personnel changes. Looking ahead there is good news and there is bad news. The bad news is the Cubs, Brewers, and Reds are looking like they are going to make this a 3 team dog fight. That could be the good news too, if they keep knocking each other off. All three, unlike the Pirates, are looking like very good baseball teams. The good news is the Pirates cannot be this offensively inept all season or can they? Can Hayes get his power back? Can the whole team get their power back? Will Triolo start to hit? Will they start to get more both offensively and defensively out of the catcher’s spot. Will management start playing players that are performing and not players who are projected to perform? Will the bullpen mainstays Bednar and Chapman turn it around? Finally, what if any changes are going to come today? Only The Shelton knows. All the preceding questions need to be answered with a yes if this team is going to contend.
Pirates Morning Report: Swept By The A’s
Final Score: Pirates 0 A’s 4
Why The Pirates Lost: The offensive woes continue to get worse. The A’s tried to help the Pirates score a run or two by committing 3 errors and walking 4, but the Pirates were even more incompetent. The Pirates could only muster 4 hits, one double and three singles. Pirates did hit some hard balls, but they were not deep enough or right at someone. This was a game that you typically see when a team is going bad. The Pirates are now 3 and 13 in their last 16 games. In their first 16 games they were 11-5. Quinn Priester had a quality start giving up 3 runs but one was unearned. When you get shutout, it means you are either going to lose or play forever. The Pirates are not playing as I am writing this. The Pirates have a must needed day off and it will be interesting to see if they make any moves. I am not going to speculate but you have to figure they have to do something. You cannot help but feel the season is slipping away, but it is early and after all is said and done, they are only 4 games below .500.
The Key Moments Of The Game: It was all on the Pirates side of the ball. In the 2nd, first and second with 2 out, in the 3rd, runner on 2nd 2 out, in the 4th, runner on 3rd one out and then 1st and 3rd with 2 out, in the 7th, bases loaded 2 out, and finally in the 8th, 1st and 2nd 2 out. The Pirates could not score. They left 10 men on base and were 0 for 6 with runners in scoring position. The road trip came to a merciful end at 1-5. The Pirates record now stands at 14 and 18, last in the division. They are heading home for a 9 game homestand.
Next Game: Tomorrow, Rockies in Pittsburgh. One of the reasons I said it will be interesting to see what if any moves the Pirates make on their off day is they may stand pat because they are playing 2 teams that are probably worse than them in the Rockies and the Troutless Angels. Tomorrow will be the 32 game report and it will be rather sad.
The Goofy Game of Golf/Life Searching for the Answer 