Pirates Morning Report, Walk Don’t Run

Final Score: Pirates 5 Cubs 6

How The 2023 Pirates Did: Bryan Reynolds continues to have a hot finish to the year. He got 2 hits, including his 25th home run, drove in 2 runs, and liked everybody else walked. There were 16 walks in the game. The Cubs got 3 runs in the top of the 6th and put one ball out of the infield in the entire inning. The Pirates walked in 2 runs for the 2nd time in the last 6 games. The game took 3 hours and 33 minutes to play as there were 356 pitches thrown. Now that’s a pitch count. Jack Suwinski had his first productive game in a long time hitting a home run and walking 3 times. Ji Hwan Bae made his major league debut for the Pirates last night and had a good game. He went 1 or 3, walked of course, and stole 2 bases. In 314 minor league games he has an on base percentage of .373. The highest on the Pirates right now is Bryan Reynolds at .344. In a nutshell the Pirates tried to lose the game and the Cubs gladly accepted.

Key Moment of The Game: When Will Crowe was brought into the game. In his last 2 appearances he has gotten 1 out, given up 8 earned runs, and walked 4. Don’t you think it might be time to shut him down for the season. The Pirates should just bring up the entire Indianapolis bullpen. Even if you have to designate for assignment most of the Pirate bullpen do you think anybody would pick them up.

Next Game: Tonight, Cubs in Pittsburgh. Speaking of walks, Johan Oviedo starts for the Pirates tonight. In 4 starts for the Pirates he has pitched 13.2 innings and walked 14. Fans attending tonight’s game will have plenty of time to get a beer, check their cell phones and not miss any “action” of the game. Baseball is making rule changes to speed up the game next year, but 356 pitches is 356 pitches. Even with a pitch clock, the game would have been over 3 hours long. Here is a radical rule change that would certainly speed up the game. Make 3 balls a walk instead of 4. Let’s start making pitchers throw strikes for God’s sake. Between batters begging and pitchers nibbling, the game has turned into watching Daniel Vogelbach bat every time. Even though a walk would still be boring, at least it would happen faster. It’s like being in line at McDonald’s, it’s much better when there are only 2 people ahead of you, instead of 6.

Pirates Morning Report, Rejects Continue To Start

Final Score: Pirates 2 Cubs 3

How The 2023 Pirates Did: Only 6 started last night, as management finds ways of putting garbage on the field. I will never understand how players can develop if they do not play. Chavis, Hayes, and Castillo were all on the bench. Then Hayes pinch hit for Delay who was having a pretty good night at the plate with a double and a walk. Zack Josh Van Collins Meter was allowed to bat just before, and of course, struck out to go 1 for 12 with 6 strike outs and a walk, since being allowed to play. I am still not too sure that is not Josh Van Meter. He certainly plays like him. Bryan Reynolds had a great night at the plate going 3 for 3, driving in a run and walking twice. Unfortunately, he was about the only one who looked like he knew what to do with the bat. The rest of the Pirates went 0 for 8 with runners in scoring position. The Pirates got 6 walks to go along with 6 hits but left 10 men on base. Cruz, Castro and Suwinski went 0 for 14 with 5 strike outs. Mitch Keller pitched an ok game giving up only 2 runs in 6 innings work. He gave up 4 hits, walked 2 and struck out 7. The Pirates went down to their 7th straight defeat very quietly, even though they made it interesting in the bottom of the 9th.

Key Moment of The Game: The 2 out lightening the Cubs were able to do in the top of the 2nd. They opened the inning with a single. But then Keller was able to get 2 outs on a fly out and a strike out. Then the Cubs got a single to put runners on 1st and 2nd. Christopher Morel ripped a double into the left field corner, that Gamel went after like he had 2 bricks in each back pocket. He looks like this all the time in the outfield. Needless to say, the 2 runs scored easily, and the Cubs had a 2-0 lead, that they never relinquished.

Next Game: Tonight, Cubs in Pittsburgh. It would be nice to see at least 8 of the 2023 Pirates in the starting lineup. We just have 2 weeks to go, please let the kids play.

Pirates Morning Report, The Defense Got a Safety.

Final Score: Pirates 2 Yankees 14

How The 2023 Pirates Did: Ke’Bryan Hayes tackled Josh Donaldson in the endzone to give the Pirates their only 2 points of the game. The Pirate defense played well but the Yankees got 2 touchdowns, one by Oswaldo Cabrera and another one by Gleyber Torres. Harrison Bader added the extra points for a 14 to 2 victory. The Pirates got only 4 hits and pitched badly most of the game. This was about as lackluster as it could get. The Yankees scored 8 runs in the 8th against real pitchers. They will remain nameless to save their families the embarrassment. In the last 10 innings at Yankee Stadium the Pirates were outscored 19-2. The Pirates did not commit an error last night and the Yankees struck out more than they did. I came up with a more positive spin on this game than the Pirate web site could. Judge couldn’t even hit his 61st home run because Eric Stout walked him. I’m sorry, I did say I would not mention names.

Key Moment of The Game: The umpire said play ball. The Yankees hit another grand slam in the first and the game was over. The Pirates have petitioned the league office to see if they would be allowed to invoke the mercy rule. In the petition they stated that if they fell behind by 4 runs, they could stop the game after the 5th inning. They are afraid that their bullpen will be permanently destroyed both physically and mentally if they have to pitch in one more blow out game. They have been blown out 28 times this season, meaning they have lost by 5 or more runs 28 times. In those games they have given up 324 runs for an average of 11.5 runs per game. Some of the better defenses in the NFL have given up less points per game.

Next Game: Tonight, Cubs in Pittsburgh. The Pirates still find ways to get the rejects on the field. The latest, Zack Josh Van Collins Meter has kept up the garbage tradition of his predecessors. He is 1 for 9 with 4 K’s, the perfect Pirate. The good news is we are coming down the home stretch, with only 13 games to play. Could the Pirates lose all 13 remaining games, only The Shadow knows. He certainly will be managing to lose.

Pirates Morning Report, Where There’s Will, There Is No Way

Final Score: Pirates 8 Yankees 9

How The 2023 Pirates Did: Will Crowe got bombed for 5 runs in the bottom of the 9th and should have been taken out of the game after the walk to Gleyber Torres. But Derek Shelton enjoys seeing players psychologically destroyed, just ask Cam Vieaux. Shelton claimed he lost a night’s sleep over letting Vieaux take a 56 pitch 8 run beating against the Brewers. Vieaux was allowed to throw 48 pitches before he got an out, possibly a Major League record. It was a shame because so many of the 2023 Pirates had such a good game. Bryan Reynolds had 4 hits with a home run and 2 RBI’s. Rudolfo Castro hit a 3-run home run in the 8th to give the Pirates an 8-4 lead. Jason Delay delivered a big 2 out hit to drive in 2 runs in the 6th. Luis Ortiz pitched another strong 5 innings. It was all for no avail as Derek Shelton just sat on his growing big ass and watched the Yankees score 5 runs in the 9th, ending with a Giancarlo Stanton rocket grand slam to win the game.

Key Moment of The Game: I thought the key moment was going be the many times that the Yankees had blown scoring opportunities. Instead, it was the bottom of the 9th and Will Crowe failing to get an out over 5 batters. A real heartbreaker for the 2023 Pirates who fell to 7-11.

Next Game: Tonight, Yankees in New York. The Pirates have 93 losses with only the A’s and the Nationals having more at 94 and 97 respectively. The number one draft pick his back in play again. The Pirate management always find a way to get the 29+ year old rejects into the game. The competition is tough right now but will get easier. Shelton will have to really sacrifice his sleep to continue to try and humiliate players. Even here in September the Pirates manage to put an infielder in right field and it cost them a run. I am sure that management thought it worked perfectly. Can the Pirates get the no. 1 pick, The Shadow knows it is possible.

Pirates Morning Report, Going on Strike

Final Score: Pirates 3 Mets 7

How The 2023 Pirates Did: They struck out 20 times. Oneil Cruz hit a 3-run homer to tie the game in the 6th and had a double earlier against Jacob deGrom. That was the only positive thing that happened all day. They made 4 errors. The Met fielders only made 7 put outs. If there would have been a 5th game in the series the Mets were thinking of using 2 DH’s and only putting 6 men on the field to avoid injury. The bullpen failed in the 8th with Shelton making moves all over the place, but to no avail. The Pirate pitchers gave up 7 runs, 12 hits, walked 6, and hit a batter. They walked in another run with the bases loaded. The Mets had 23 base runners for the game. They left 13 men on base and were only 4 for 18 with runners in scoring position. This could have been a big blowout instead of a close game going into the 8th inning. This 4-game series was a disaster for the Pirates. The big city proved to be too big of a stage for the 2023 Pirates. They will be staying in New York through Wednesday. There is not much else to write.

The Key Moment of The Game: Derek Shelton woke up in the 8th and decided to make some moves. He should have just sat on his hands like he usually does late in the game, and maybe Robert Stephenson would have got out of the inning, unscathed.

Next Game: Tuesday night, Yankees in New York. A welcome day off today. There is a rumor that the Pirates are going to take batting practice using soft balls so they can feel a ball hitting a bat once in a while. The Pirates are taking strike outs and turning them into an art form. The 2023 Pirates dropped to 7-10.

Pirates Morning Report, One Swing and 8 Walks

Final Score: Pirates 1 Mets 5

How the 2023 Pirates Did: Rudolfo Castro had 3 hits, including a home run for the only Pirate run. Other than that, everybody else stunk. Cruz struck out every time at bat. Reynold struck out 3 times and in all, the Pirates struck out a dozen times. Meanwhile the pitchers gave up 8 walks and walked a run in with the bases loaded twice. The one swing for the Mets was a 3-run blast by Eduardo Escobar in the bottom of the 2nd with 2 out. The Mets runners were on base via a walk, what else, and the bloopiest double down the right field line. Even so, this was a horrible performance for the 2023 Pirates. It makes me want to curb my optimism for this team next year. The performance of the night was by Eric Stout. He came on in the bottom of the 6th with a runner on 1st and one out. He promptly walked the next 2 batters to load the bases. He struck out the next batter to give us hope. Then he walked the next batter on 4 pitches to force in a run. All in all, he threw 24 pitches and only 10 of those for strikes. Hopefully we will never see him in 2023. The 2023 Pirates fell to 7-9.

Key Moment of The Game: The Escobar homer was as big as it gets. There were 2 outs and it looked like Wilson may be getting out of the jam, but it was not to be. The Pirates only had 4 hits but manage to threaten to score a couple of times but could not get the big hit.

Next Game: This afternoon, Mets in New York. Jacob deGrom is going for the Mets today. The sweep is looking like a foregone conclusion. For the 3 games the Pirates have scored 5 runs on 13 hits and struck out 35 times. No hitter, anyone.

Pirate Morning Report, Hard Luck Day For 2023 Pirates

Final Score: Pirates 3 Mets 4

How The 2023 Pirates Did: Mitch Keller pitched a pretty good game and deserved a better fate. Ben Gamel runs in the outfield like he has a brick in each back pocket. It was his lack of hustle or inabilities that allowed the Mets to score from first base on a routine single. Granted the runner broke on the pitch, but Gamel went after the ball like he was trying to keep from crapping his pants. Could Gamel please just DH the rest of the season. Keller’s final line was 6 innings giving up 3 runs on 5 hits, 2 walks, striking out 6, while throwing 84 pitches. He could have come out for the 7th but did not. Oneil Cruz really had an up and down day. He hit a home run in the top of the 8th with a man on to close the gap to 4-3 but had an uneven day in the field, that helped the Mets score the 4th and deciding run. Cruz came within about a yard of hitting another home run in the top of the 5th with 2 runners on base that could have changed the outcome the game. Chavis, Mitchell and Castro each got 1 hit, with Chavis driving in the other run. It was a tough hard luck loss for the Pirates last night that sent their record down to 7-8.

Key Moment of The Game: Other than the Daniel, The Turtle, Vogelbach home run all the other Met’s runs scored with help from the Pirates. Even though I thought it was a tough error on Cruz because the ball took a weird hop, it is still a ball that he probably should have handled. Bryan Reynolds did not prepare himself well to make a throw to the plate on a relatively short fly ball by Pete Alonzo. The fact of the matter was the Pirates were not sharp defensively and it cost them 3 runs. Even though luck was not in their corner last night, the young Buccos were their own worst enemy.

Next Game: Tonight, Mets in New York. Pirates did have a bit of a moral victory last night as they struck out only 7 times. I felt they were more aggressive at the plate and although they only got 5 hits, I still thought they looked a lot better. Hopefully, they will continue that kind of attitude at the plate tonight with better results.

Pirates Morning Report, Exit Velocity Zero

Final Score: Pirates 1 Mets 7

How The 2023 Pirates Did: Whew! The only Pirates to get hits were Bryan Reynolds and Michael Chavis with 2 each and they “only” struck out once each. There were 6 batters who went 0 for 23 with 14 strikeouts. They looked even worse doing it. Cal Mitchell walked twice and did not strike out. Congratulations Cal. Gamel and Suwinski never put a ball in play. Cruz put one ball in play in 4 at bats. All in all, it was one of the most pathetic offensive nights for the Pirates in a long time. They took a lot of strikes early in the count and then swung at pitches that were not even close to the strike zone to end the at bat. I do not know how they could even look at those I pads. What made the night even worse, The Turtle went 2 for 2 with 3 RBI’s. J. T. Brubaker got rocked in 3 innings work and then left the game with right lat discomfort. It says he is day to day. I am willing to bet it will be more like 140 days when spring training opens, before he will throw another pitch in a Pirate uniform. The 2023 Pirates record dropped to 7-7 and they should be charged with 2 losses after that performance

Key Moment of The Game: Anytime a Pirates grabbed a bat and came to the plate. It meant the game was a lot closer to being over. The last 17 batters went down in order to end the game. The Turtles 2 out hit in the 1st that drove in 2 runs, got the Mets rolling and they were never threatened.

Next Game: Tonight, Mets in New York. There is a rumor that Nutting made the Pirates travel from Cincinnati to New York in school buses that were found in a junk yard near Great American Ball Park. The ride was so bumpy it left many Pirates sore and exhausted. Nutting has denied the rumor saying they were not found in a junk yard. He said he rented them from a local school district so they could use the money to improve their sport fields. Hopefully, a more well rested Pirate team will be able to make contact with the ball a little more often.

Pirates Morning Report, Pirates Sweep Despite Management

Final Score: Pirates 10 Reds 4

How The 2023 Pirates Did: Even though management only started 6 of the 2023 Pirates I’m giving them this one because the 6 had such a great game. Their record now stands at 7-6. The top of the order Hayes, Reynolds and Castro went 7 for 15 and knocking in 5 of the 10 runs. The other 4 were driven in by Chavis (2) and Cruz (2). The last run was a gift from the Reds. Cruz had the modern-day player typical game. He struck out 4 times and hit a home run. He never put a ball on the field. The Pirates struck out 14 times and still managed to score 10 runs. Roansy Contreras pitched only 4 innings and did not qualify for the win. Greg Brown said that Roansy would have to settle for 4 scoreless innings. Well, he better settle for 4 innings of giving up 1 run on 3 hits because that is what he really did. Greg, I know those short naps are great, but try to pay attention to the game once in a while. It was a nice series sweep for the Pirates.

Key Moment of The Game: It was the way the 8th inning unfolded that seemed to seal the deal. The score was 4-2 going into the top of the 8th and with the way the bullpen has been performing, the outcome was very much in doubt. Michael Chavis walked to start the inning. He went to 2nd on a bunt by Newman. Jack Suwinski flied out to center. Oneil Cruz came to the plate having struck out 3 times. On the 3rd pitched he smashed an opposite field homer to put the Pirates ahead 6-2 that gave them a nice cushion. In the 9th we scored 4 more times to really seal the deal.

Next Game: Tonight, Mets in New York. Zack Josh Van Collins Meter made another appearance briefly to play first base when Kevin Newman did something to his hand diving into the netting chasing a foul ball down the first base line. Major meeting today for the management team to try a get back to the losing ways. We can only guess what the lineup moves might be over the next week to get back in the draft chase. It shouldn’t take much considering we have the Mets and Yankees the next 6 games.

Pirates Morning Report, Are You Sure That’s Not Josh Van Meter

Final Scores: Day Game: Pirates 6 Reds 1 Night Game: Pirates 1 Reds 0

How The 2023 Pirates Did: First of all, the Pirates snuck a game in on me, as I did not realize they were playing another day night doubleheader. The 2023 Pirates won game 1 with 7 players and a potential pitcher for 2023. In game 2 only 6 of the 2023 Pirates were in the lineup which does not qualify them for the win. The Pirates did start someone by the name of Zack Collins who is listed as a catcher. However, he started at 1st base and suspiciously looked a lot like Josh Van Meter to me. Whatever, Zack Josh Van Collins Meter will not be playing for the Pirates in 2023. He certainly hit like Van Meter going 0 for 3 with a strike out. I did see him getting fingerprinted after the game. The 2023 Pirates lit it up again in game 1 hitting 3 homers, one each by Bryan Reynolds, Ke’Bryan Hayes and Cal Mitchell. The Pirates only got 3 hits in game 2, with only Castro getting the hit for the 2023 Pirates. The story of the day was the great pitching the Pirates got from potential members of the 2023 rotation. In game 1 Johan Oviedo pitched 5 innings of 1 hit ball, walking 2 and striking out 4 while only throwing 74 pitches. In game 2 Luis Ortiz made his Pirate debut allowing only 1 hit, walking 3, striking out 5 in 5.2 innings while throwing 83 pitches. It was a great day for the young arms of the Pirates.

Key Moment of The Day: In game 2 in the bottom of the 9th, the Pirates brought in Dwayne (I know how to lose games) Underwood Junior to pitch. The Reds could not even figure him out and after a 2 out walk to give the Pirate management hope that DUJ would blow another one, he got the next batter to hit a weak pop up to left field to end the game. The dejected look on The Shadow’s face told the whole story, as the Pirates moved into a tie with the Detroit Tigers for the 3rd worst record in baseball. What looked like a possibility of the overall no.1 pick in the draft is now slowly, painfully slipping away. The Pirate management team has scheduled a major meeting on Thursday to see what can be done. It will be long because the memo said bring your lunch.

Next Game: This afternoon, Reds in Cincinnati. If Zack Collins starts today, then I will know for sure that is Josh Van Meter. Just who the hell is Zack Collins anyway. Can someone please show me his driver licence. The 2023 Pirates have now raised their record to 6-6. It could have been 7-6 if it wasn’t for Zack (Josh Van Meter) Collins.

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