Pirates Morning Report: Over Before They Took The Field.

Final Score: Pirates 0 Guardians 3

Why The Pirates Lost: Even with Paul Skenes pitching, this game was lost before it started. The Pirates could not have put a worse team on the field if they tried. They had 4 players who did not have batting averages over .150. They had 2 players with batting averages between .203 and .194. Surprise, surprise, surprise, they got shutout. These illustrious 6 players went 3 for 21, with a pinch hitter hitting .100 adding to the cause. They struck out 6 times and did not walk. Why would they? Pitchers just threw the ball right down the middle. No IKF, McCutchen, or Joey Bart. They never pinch hit when a good opportunity arose. Someway, somehow, the Pirates were more pathetic yesterday than they were the night before. It would seem impossible, but they managed to do it. As you will see, Derek Shelton sat on his hands again.

Key Moment Of The Game: Even with this putrid lineup, the Pirates managed to threaten. Believe me, this lineup was enough to make a buzzard puke. In the bottom of the 6th, Oneil Cruz opened with a walk. Bryan Reynolds singled to left with Cruz hustling to 3rd. Ke’Bryan Hayes battled out an 8-pitch at-bat. He was called out on strikes on a ball that was outside. Enmanuel (I Like Scoring Meaningless Runs) Valdez walked to load the bases. At this point in the game, many players said they heard snoring in the dugout. This explains the absence of a pinch hitter for Tommy Pham. Pham has had 1 hit in his last 11 at bats and is hitting .127 overall. He promptly grounded into a double play on the first pitch of the at-bat. Valdez had the base running blunder in the 9th, getting thrown out at third when trailing 3-0. Everything about this game is questionable. From the starting lineup to base running failures, the question remains: what the hell were they thinking?

Next Game: This afternoon, Guardians in Pittsburgh. The Pirates will try to avoid getting swept today. They will send Mitch Keller to the mound. Keller has not seen the Pirates score a run in his last two outings. Will Jack Suwinski get his third straight start? Strike out three times in a game, you’re startin’ today. Hit a home run and a triple, you’re sittin’ today. You need a rest after all that hard swinging and running. What a thought process this team has. Easily explains why they are 8-14 and just getting worse by the day.