Final Score: Pirates 0 Brewers 14
Why The Pirates Lost: Even Paul Skenes could not stop the Milwaukee Brewers. The Brewers lit Skenes up for 4 runs on 6 hits. He gave up 2 home runs. He walked 2 and struck out 4. It took him 93 pitches to get through 4 innings. Then things got worse. At least Don Kelly had enough sense to get thrown out of the game in the top of the 5th. He must have known what was coming. Gene Lamont took over. He looked at the lineup card like, what’s that? The Pirate offense stunk as usual. They got 4 hits for the game. They have 7 hits for the series. The Brewers scored 14 runs last night. The AAA boys went 0 for 10 with 2 strikeouts. One of them could not get a hit against a position player pitching. In the 9th, they got a hit and 3 fly ball outs with 2nd baseman Anthony Seigler pitching. The Pirates can’t score even during batting practice.
Comical Moments Of The Game: There can be no key moments in a game like this. There were plenty of comical moments. It was 6-0 going into the bottom of the 6th. Yohan (I Give Up Runs Constantly) Ramirez gave up a 2-run homer the inning before. He gave up a leadoff single to start the 6th. The next batter hit a ball right to the mound. Ramirez threw the ball to 2nd. Gonzales dropped the ball. Ramirez walked the next batter. Out came Lamont. When he got to the mound, he started laughing. He probably couldn’t help it. It looked like he was introducing himself to the players. He brought in Ryan Borucki. He got one out on a sacrifice fly, 7-0. The next batters singled, 8-0. The next batter singled, 9-0. Andrew Vaughn hit a 3-run homer, 12-0. Matt Capps added to the hilarity. As Vaughn crossed the plate, he said, “Brownie, the rout is on.” Like 9-0 was not already a rout. Then Oscar The Grouch Marin made a trip to the mound. Just what the hell do you think he said to Borucki at this point? Man, you stink is my guess. Jared Triolo came in to pitch the 9th. Tommy Pham dropped a fly ball. Caleb Durbin hit a home run to make it 14-0. It was only after another double that Greg Brown said, “The ugliness continues in Milwaukee.” When the game ended, he said to send it back to the studio to break this one down. Really, break it down? You can do it in 3 words. The Pirates stink. They need a complete organizational clean-out.
Next Game: This afternoon, Brewers in Milwaukee. Mitch Keller goes up against Brandon Woodruff. Will the Pirates get a hit today, let alone a run? How many AAA boys will be out there today? Will anybody be sent down today? Will Don Kelly get ejected again today so he won’t have to watch? Will Gene Lamont look at the lineup card before the game starts? Will the Pirates catch every ball hit and thrown to them? Will the Brewers score over 30 runs for the series? Stay tuned for the answers tomorrow.
The Goofy Game of Golf/Life Searching for the Answer 