You mean besides these writing prompts. One of the shows that makes me laugh a lot right now is Two and a Half Men. Certainly, there have been other comedies in Television and Movies that have made me really laugh, but that is what they are supposed to do. What I find that I laugh the most at, are shows that are supposed to be serious or even tearjerkers but have hilarious moments in them. One of the best examples I know of this is the lunch date that Jack Nicholson and Shirley McClaine have in the movie Terms of Endearment. If you have never seen this movie, it is a must see, but it is a tearjerker. It was a major Oscar winner. There are many things that can make me laugh in real life. Watching mine and other people’s golf shots can be a scream. As I get older looking for things like glasses, car keys, cell phones, and other necessities of life even though frustrating will put a smile on my face when I find them. Fortunately, I have always found them which is good since the space I am looking for them is usually pretty small. There are many things that do make me laugh. Big things in the world and sports. Everyday things that just seem funny. There is no question that laughing is therapeutic. Now that I think about it, the thing that I laugh the most at are my own jokes. Although I must admit the writing prompts come in a close second. Keep up the good work, people do need a good laugh to start the day.
Pirates Morning Report: Maybe For The Marlins and The Pirates They Should Start The Runner AT Third.
Final Score: Pirates 6 Marlins 5 in 12 innings
Why The Pirates Won: A very strong performance by the bullpen triggered this win. In 6 and 1/3 innings the bullpen gave up only 1 hit, 2 walks, while striking out 4. Luis Ortiz and Jose Hernandez were particularly impressive in the extra innings holding the Marlins scoreless despite the fact they started each inning with the phantom runner on 2nd. The Pirates never even had to make a play at the plate during those 3 innings. Mitch Keller did not have his best stuff giving up all the runs in just 5 and 2/3rds innings, on 7 hits and 2 walks. The Pirate offense hit 3 home runs that accounted for 4 of the 6 runs. Oneil Cruz’s opposite field dinger in the 8th inning tied the game at 5. Jared Triolo was having a tough day at the plate until he got the game winning single in the top of the 12th. The most important thing the offense did was getting a very effective starting pitcher out of the game after 5 innings. The Marlins bullpen was not up to the task of protecting a 3-run lead. Despite the Pirates making an error that led to a run in the top of the 2nd, their defense was outstanding and helped snuff out numerous scoring opportunities the Marlin had, especially in extra innings. Some players had rough games at the plate as the Pirates struck out 17 times with McCutchen striking out 4 times and Cruz 3. All in all, it was a great opening day win for the mighty Bucco’s.
Key Moments Of The Game: There were many key moments in this game, not the least of which was the jam that Mitch Keller got out of in the bottom of the 2nd. The Marlins had posted 2 runs and had 2nd and 3rd with no one out. Keller bore down and got 2 weak pop outs and a fly ball to end the inning, keeping the score 2-0. The Pirates returned the favor in the top of the 6th by loading the bases with one out but failed to produce one run. At that point in the game, they were trailing 5-2, looking like they were headed for an opening day loss. In the top of the 7th the Pirates made things interesting by getting 2 runs on an Edward Olivares pinch hit home run and a McCutchen ground out which scored Michael Taylor from 3rd base. Then Oneil Cruz went deep in the top of 8th, and we were tied 5-5. The biggest play of the game came in the bottom of the 10th. The Marlins were able to move the runner over to third with one out. The Pirates intentionally walked the next batter. Jake Burger grounded into a 4-6-3 double play, only made possible by the great play by Conner (I know I didn’t like it when they signed him) Joe, when Oneil Cruz threw a low hard one way left of the bag. Joe dove to his right, caught the ball, and managed to stay on the bag. The inning was over, and Joe had saved the game. In the top of the 12th the Pirates finally scratched out a run to win the opening game of the season.
Next Game: Tonight, the Marlins in Miami. Martin Perez will start for the Pirates to see if he can keep the momentum going. This was a real nice gritty win for the Bucs. They made some first game mistakes but were able to overcome them, and pull out the victory in extra innings, thanks to a great performance by the bullpen. They are going to open the season oddly enough by facing 4 straight left-handed pitchers. The Pirates left-handed batters are going to get plenty of practice hitting left-handed pitching. One final off the field question. Are the Pirate announcers really into hair gel or did they just get out of the shower before they went on the air? Enquiring minds want to know. I can wait to see Bob Walk.
Pirates Morning Report: Opening Day, Optimism Rampant
The Pirates open the 2024 baseball season tomorrow, visiting the Miami Marlins. There is much optimism for the coming season. This time last year it seemed like I was the only one that felt the Pirates might contend for a playoff spot. They got off to a hot start, but in the middle of that hot start Oneil Cruz suffered a season ending broken ankle. That essentially ended any hope that they would be a contender. This year many are writing that the Pirates will contend for a wild card and might even win the division. Certainly, the Pirates seem stronger this year in every phase of the game. What will determine how the 2024 season unfolds and how successful will the Pirates be? It goes without saying that the Pirates will need to avoid the devasting injury that befell Oneil Cruz last season. Assuming that the Pirates will remain relatively healthy, this is what must happen for the Pirates to make the playoffs or win the division.
I previously wrote that Ke’Bryan Hayes and Jared Triolo must come close to producing the offensive production that they showed the last 2 months of the 2023 season, and nothing has changed my mind. The Pirate management team showed they have a lot of faith in Triolo by making him the starting 2nd baseman. Last fall I thought Triolo would be on the team, but in the role of the super utility man playing 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and possibly shortstop. I also thought that the Pirates would keep both Nick Gonzales and Liover Peguero. Instead, they will both open the season in AAA. They did not show enough in spring training to warrant being kept on the team, once it was decided that Triolo would be the full-time 2nd baseman. Keeping Alika Williams was a surprise, but I imagine that that he will be sent down once Ji Hwan Bae is healthy. That says something about the Pirate offense, where management is comfortable playing a no-hit glove man once in a while. Speaking of Bae, in 16 plate appearances in spring training, he did walk 4 times, so there may be hope for him yet.
Bryan Reynolds must get closer to being the player he was in 2021. He has been in a steady decline since then. Looking at two areas, WAR and OPS+, beginning in 2021 his WAR has gone from 5.9 to 3.0 to 2.4 and his OPS+ has gone from 145 to 127 to 113. In order for this team to win the division Reynold must at least play between his 2021 and 2022 levels. In an earlier blog I mentioned that the Pirates would be fine if Reynolds even played at his 2023 level. Since that time, I have changed my mind especially if they want to win the division. Reynolds has not had a particularly great spring, slashing .196/261/476. I never put a lot of weight on springtime performance. He could be experimenting around a little with his approach and swing. I feel that Reynolds will bounce back because he just seems to be a solid skilled player. How much he bounces back will go a long way to determining how this Pirate season turns out. If he would continue his decline, then this may be the first Pirate problem of 2024. On the other hand, Jack Suwinski is headed in the right direction. Using the same formula, Suwinski has seen his WAR go from 1.2 in 2022 to 2.2 in 2023. His OPS+ went from 99 in 2022 to 115 in 2023. If he can continue this upward trend the Pirates will be able to take another step closer to the division title.
There is no question that once the Pirates acquired Michael Taylor and decided to play Triolo at 2nd base they were going to put their best defensive team on the field in this century. If Carlos Santana was going to be at first base, they might be putting the best defensive team in the league on the field in 2024. Even without Santana this will be a very strong defensive team at least on paper. Will they play to that potential in 2024? In my view it is a very likely occurrence. I have always gone with Baseball’s Reference’s Defensive Efficiency Rating as my main comparison stat when it comes to fielding. Last year the Pirates finished 18th in DER. I expect them to crack the top 5 this year if they are going to win the division.
Then there is the Pirate pitching staff. The Pirates are going to prove or disprove the theory that you cannot have enough pitching. They have 24 pitchers on the 40 man Roster and only 4 are 30 years old or older. The Pirates have 9 pitchers that could easily go into the starting rotation and by mid-season that number should grow to 11. Two mainstays of last year’s bullpen are going to start the season on the IL, Colin Holderman and Carmen Mlodzinski, and it looks like the bullpen will not miss a beat. Dauri Moreta is going to miss the entire season due to elbow surgery, but there is no talk of getting bullpen help. With the high number of arms that is on this squad, hopefully, they will find 13 that will be very good to excellent in run prevention. The Pirates should be better in every phase of the game, hitting, fielding, base running, and pitching. The question will be, will this be good enough and will the players perform to their expected levels.
Can this team win the division? As long as they can avoid the injury bug, I would say they have at least a 50-50 chance. Could the Pirates win the American League East or the National League West, not a chance in hell. Thankfully the Pirates are in the National League Central, where all the teams are in a state of transition. I think it will boil down to how does the core of the Pirates perform, Jack Suwinski, Bryan Reynolds, Oneil Cruz, Ke’Bryan Hayes, Jared Triolo, Henry Davis, and the starting pitcher that day. They will either be the Magnificent 7 or the 7 Little Foys. It should be one of the most interesting and exciting seasons that Pittsburgh has seen in about 10 years, starting tomorrow. The Pirates Morning Report will start on the following day with a concise, no nonsense look, (well maybe a little nonsense, I just can’t help myself) at why the Pirates won or lost each game. I can hardly wait, but I must.
Blizzard Conditions With Lots Of Deaths.
Blizzard conditions is my favorite weather where people are stranded for days, and power outages lasts for weeks. WHAT THE HELL TYPE OF WRITING PROMPT IS THAT? Let’s look at the possible answers. Now there are some people out there, that actually like snow. They say it looks beautiful coming down and is so pretty. Meanwhile it causes all kinds of havoc, and when it does warm up you cannot play golf, because the damn course is covered in snow. Bottom line, I hate snow. Next is rain. We need rain, so even though it is not my favorite weather by a long shot, I know it is necessary to continue life on the planet. Then there is hot and humid and miserable. I do not mind this, because the golf courses are usually pretty empty, and as long as you take your time, drink plenty of fluids, it still is a good experience. Then there is cold weather. I will play golf anytime it is over 36 degrees, with little or no wind. Next to snow, windy is my least favorite condition. It is very tough to play golf and it is the least enjoyable experience. Most people I assume would answer the question with the answer, sunny, around 75 to 80 degrees, low humidity and gentle winds. The problem with that answer is, if that is all the weather we ever had, we would all be dead within a year. Hoping to have great weather is like hoping you can pick your favorite way to die. Both things are totally out of your control. My best answer to this prompt would be having weather that is 100% predictable. I am still amazed at how wrong they sometimes can be. I will say this, weather forecasting does seem to have improved over the last 10 years, especially the 3-to-7-day forecasts. The greatest lesson you can take from the weather is accepting something that you cannot change. Whatever the weather is, just make the best of it and enjoy the day as much as you can, except when it snows.
Idiot
What is one word that describes you?
Why is idiot the one word that describes me? Because only an idiot would hope that these prompts might get better. Who ever heard of a writing prompt that can be answered in one word. If they would have added and why, then maybe that would have had some merit. After much thought I thought that it might be interesting to write down how other people have described me over the years in one word. In no particular order people have described me as conscientious, weird, bad, good, cute, asshole, terrible, bastard, prick, wonderful, chickenshit, sarcastic, terrific, funny, hateful, kind, crazy, sick, thief, honest, liar, lucky, sad, snake, shithead, best, sweet, ruthless, boring, different, awful, crazy, dumbass, immature, gutsy, and stubborn, just to name a few. Probably one of the most prophetic things ever written was by Robert Burns in the poem, To a Louse. He concluded the poem with these words, “ O wad some Power the giftie gie us/ To see oursels as ithers see us! Such a power or ability would save us a lot of bother and foolish notions; but we cannot see ourselves as others see us. The one thing we cannot do is take the view of that louse”. That first line made spellcheck go crazy, yea! If I did have this power, then the prompt would not be necessary and I would not feel like an idiot.
Cross-Country Trip
You’re going on a cross-country trip. Airplane, train, bus, car, or bike?
Again, like most prompts, we need a little definition here. I live in Western Pennsylvania so if the question is to be taken literally going across the United States, then there is only one answer, airplane. Since my daughter’s family lives in San Diego, I do this all the time. Am I going to bike to San Diego? Let me get my ass pads while I think about it. The other 3 modes would take days to get there and back. The other modes not only would take a lot longer they would not be significantly cheaper. Maybe the prompt is using the word country as implying the countryside. We are considering taking a trip along the countryside, some finite distance away. Maybe something that would take about a 5 hour drive to get to. For me, I would drive my car. I can think of no circumstances where I would take a train or bus, if I was going on my own. I would not rule out a bus if it was tied into a group tour. I would never take a train. The train vacations that I have looked into are pretty damn expensive. As far as a bike is concerned I usually drive somewhere, to a trail and ride a bike. I would never think of leaving my house and using my bike to get to a destination. I would be concerned about being run over by a car. Quite frankly I will be glad when baseball season starts and I will be writing about the Pirates almost everyday. By the way did I mention that I will be biking to Italy in September.
Activities You Better Lose Yourself In
What activities do you lose yourself in?
Losing yourself in an activity is defined as being so interested in something it takes all of your attention. People always think of this as something they really like to do, such as reading a good book or watching a really good movie. Could be even working on some kind of project, whether it be personal or work related. However, there are a few activities that you should lose yourself if you want to live a good life. Driving a car should take all of your attention but rarely does. In fact we almost guarantee that we will be distracted by listening to music, podcast, books or talking on the phone. You had better totally lose yourself in your partner when having sex for the 500th time, if you want to continue having sex period. You should totally lose yourself in eating instead of reading a book or watching TV. Feel and enjoy every bite that goes into that diseased filled mouth because you do not lose yourself into the activity of brushing your teeth. About 4 to 5 times per day you should take a minute and totally lose yourself into breathing. Breathing is something we do unconsciously to stay alive. When you pay attention to breathing you realize what a wonderful thing it truly is. One of most important things to lose yourself in is sleeping. Without it you turn into a creepy curmudgeon. What all of this means is you need to lose yourself in the more mundane things in life, if you really want to totally enjoy all the great things that life has to offer. I’m done now and have to finish my cereal I was eating while I was writing this. But don’t worry, I really lost myself in both activities.
Movies I have watched more than 5 times, you won’t believe it.
What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?
This will be one of the most challenging writing prompts I will have. The challenge will be trying to remember all of them. Remember for 44 years I worked about 45 hours a week. Some of the older movies I will mention the leading actor. So without further ado here I go. Chinatown, Something’s Got a Give, Harper, Paul Neumann, It’s Complicated, The Professionals, Lee Marvin, The Dirty Dozen, Lonely Are The Brave, Kirk Douglas, Garden of Evil, High Noon, Gary Cooper, Soldier of Fortune, Clark Cable, Wedding Crashers, Along Comes Polly, Something About Mary, Heartbreak Kid, Heartbreak Pass, Charles Bronson, North Dallas Forty, Absence of Malice, Prince of Tides, Out Of Time, The Killers, Lee Marvin, Point Blank, Lee Marvin, Silverado, The Searchers, John Wayne, True Grit, True Grit, Hangover I and II, Q&A, Godfather I and II, And Justice For All, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon, The Verdict, Out of Time, American Gangster, The Departed, Wall Street, Klute, Coming Home, Midnight Run, Wolf of Wall Street, Rio Bravo, Begin Again, Stand by Me, Presumed Innocent, Regarding Henry, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, The Sting, Heat of the Night, Look Who’s Talking, Good Will Hunting, Spotlight, The Green Book, Hidalgo, State of Play, Airplane, Police Squad, Big Lebowski, 10 Million Ways to Die, Crazy Heart, Star is Born, Barbra Streisand, The Score, Death Wish, Magnificent 7, 1960, Bullet, Great Escape, Hud, Forrest Gump, Fever Pitch, Anatomy of a Murder, Jimmy Stewart, Days of Wine and Roses, Casino, Good Fellas, The Greatest Game, Bull Durham, The Natural, Rudy, Hoosiers, French Connection, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Unforgiven, Grand Torino, Dirty Harry, all 5, Star Wars, Meet the Parents, Law Abiding Citizen, Driving Miss Daisy, Shawshank Redemption, Tin Cup, Winning Team, Ronald Reagan, Heaven Can Wait, Warren Beatty, Some Came Running, Frank Sinatra, Trouble With The Curve, American Hustle, China Syndrome, Tequila Sunrise, Lethal Weapon I and III, Rocky I andII, On Golden Pond, The Electric Horseman, Stanley and Iris.
That is it, all done from memory. I am sure there are even more. As far as TV series go that one is easy, only one NYPD Blue. As far as remembering all the movies I have seen at least 5 times I think I did pretty good for an old guy. Which one have I seen the most? Chinatown was made in 1974. I have made sure that I watch it at least once a year. You do the math, I am exhausted.
Superstitious
Are you superstitious?
Being superstitious means believing in superstition. Superstition is believing in something magical, irrational, something not based on facts. Basically this all has to do with luck. There is the old saying I would rather be lucky than good. To avoid bad luck don’t walk under a ladder, don’t pass in front of a black cat, don’t step on the cracks of a sidewalk, just to name a few. To have good luck, carry a rabbits foot, have a lucky charm, or keep your fingers crossed. There are some out there who claim not to be superstitious but is anybody really not superstitious? What about praying? Doesn’t that meet the defined criteria of superstition. Thinking there is life after death, especially heaven, certainly meets the criteria for a superstition. It certainly dictates the way one behaves. You had better be good so you can meet a loved one in heaven. How about having a routine? There are a lot of healthcare professionals that think having a routine is good for mental health. So if you get up at 7:15 instead of 7 is your day ruined. Sports are famous for superstitions. Fans think if they turn on a game and their team starts losing, that they had something to do with it. There is the old baseball saying never mess with a hot streak, meaning whatever your doing before the game keep doing it. Being superstitious is just part of human nature. One of the reasons I think this is true is because there are so many things in the world that are unexplainable. How many times have we heard the story about a person, who doctors said only had days to live and they unexpectedly recover and live for years. Do you think their family prayed, held a rosary, or kept their fingers crossed. Just take a deep breath, admit you’re superstitious, and be damn proud of it.
My 100-Year-Old Self
Where do they come up with this stuff? When I first saw this prompt, I thought that I would just ignore it and write about one of the prompts I put out there a couple of days ago. Then I thought this is just too weird not to write something. I most likely would be writing a letter to a dead person. There is not much of a chance that I or anybody is going to live to a 100. I know there are a few that do it. As of right now there are a little over 100,000 people in the United States that are 100 years or older. That is about .03% of the population. Not as bad as lottery odds but still pretty slim. Most likely I would be writing to my dead self. My letter would be short and to the point. How does it feel to be dead? If possible, please let me know. Signed your 73 soon to be 74 year old self. Now if somehow, I managed to make it to 100 still alive this letter would also be brief. Dear 100-year-old self. Looks like I even screwed this up because there was no way I wanted to live to be 100 years old. I just hope that I know what day it is, and I can get out of bed. I hope I can control my bowels and bladder. I do not care if I can even play golf at this point. I did it but this has to be the worst writing prompt of them all and there have been some pretty bad ones. At least this one is not something you answer with one sentence. Back to doing my taxes and watching the golf tournament.
The Goofy Game of Golf/Life Searching for the Answer 