Right now, I have an 18-year-old senile cat that I wish I could make him understand anything. The good news is that he still knows what a litter pan is for. There is no question that the one pet that I wish I could have made him understand one thing, was the dwarf Dachshund I had during the late eighties and most of the nineties. We had 3 dogs at the time. A Doberman female, a male Yorkie named Casey, who was about 10 lbs. and this 4 lb. male Dachshund by the name of Wendell. They were all neutered of course, and everybody got along just fine. There was just one problem. Every time you gave the male Yorkie and a bath, this goofy Dachshund acted like the Yorkie was a female in heat and tried to hump him constantly for about 2 to 3 days. Now this was no problem for the Yorkie, because all he would do is jump on the couch, since Wendell was too small to be able to get on the couch. Wendell would just whine and cry at the base of the couch nonstop, hopping up and down. The worst part would be at night when Wendell would be in his room whining and howling all night, pining away for the dog. Needless to say, I tried everything to not have Wendell act that way after Casey got a bath. I would try different shampoos, ranging from some that really stunk to ones that had no smell. In fact, anytime a drug salesman had a new shampoo I would always tell them sure I will try that, leading them to believe that I would possibly sell this shampoo at my clinic. No, I was just trying to find one that would not make Wendell behave that way after Casey got a bath. I tried other things, too. I would bath them together. I would take Casey to the clinic, bath him about 7:30 am, not bring him home until 9 pm, but as soon as I got him home Wendell would be all over him, humping away. I took them both to a groomer to get bathed and that made no difference. It would be all over in about 2-3 days, but it was a miserable 3 days. Wendell never did this at any other time. After about a year of trying all these things, the solution was to hardly ever give poor Casey a bath. There is no question that if I could have made Wendell understand one thing, it would be that giving a dog a bath does not turn him into a female in heat.
The Dwarf Dachshund
If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?
The Goofy Game of Golf/Life Searching for the Answer 