Final Score: Pirates 2 Yankees 14
How The 2023 Pirates Did: Ke’Bryan Hayes tackled Josh Donaldson in the endzone to give the Pirates their only 2 points of the game. The Pirate defense played well but the Yankees got 2 touchdowns, one by Oswaldo Cabrera and another one by Gleyber Torres. Harrison Bader added the extra points for a 14 to 2 victory. The Pirates got only 4 hits and pitched badly most of the game. This was about as lackluster as it could get. The Yankees scored 8 runs in the 8th against real pitchers. They will remain nameless to save their families the embarrassment. In the last 10 innings at Yankee Stadium the Pirates were outscored 19-2. The Pirates did not commit an error last night and the Yankees struck out more than they did. I came up with a more positive spin on this game than the Pirate web site could. Judge couldn’t even hit his 61st home run because Eric Stout walked him. I’m sorry, I did say I would not mention names.
Key Moment of The Game: The umpire said play ball. The Yankees hit another grand slam in the first and the game was over. The Pirates have petitioned the league office to see if they would be allowed to invoke the mercy rule. In the petition they stated that if they fell behind by 4 runs, they could stop the game after the 5th inning. They are afraid that their bullpen will be permanently destroyed both physically and mentally if they have to pitch in one more blow out game. They have been blown out 28 times this season, meaning they have lost by 5 or more runs 28 times. In those games they have given up 324 runs for an average of 11.5 runs per game. Some of the better defenses in the NFL have given up less points per game.
Next Game: Tonight, Cubs in Pittsburgh. The Pirates still find ways to get the rejects on the field. The latest, Zack Josh Van Collins Meter has kept up the garbage tradition of his predecessors. He is 1 for 9 with 4 K’s, the perfect Pirate. The good news is we are coming down the home stretch, with only 13 games to play. Could the Pirates lose all 13 remaining games, only The Shadow knows. He certainly will be managing to lose.