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Pirates Morning Report: Loo-Loo-Loo-Losers

Final Score: Pirates 5 Cubs 9

Why The Pirates Lost: They are a bunch of losers. They do what losers do. Since the Pirates lost 10 games in a row, they have been 8-8. During this stretch of games, they gave up 1 run in 27 innings and yet they only won one of those games. In the last 2 games they have scored 13 runs, and not only have they lost both games, but lost them by a total of 14 runs. Last night they threw in the towel early for the second straight game. Jared Jones was plagued with a lack of command and the home run ball, giving up 5 runs in 4 innings. The score was 5-2, still a ball game. Who does clueless Shelton bring in to pitch the 5th, Jalen Beeks and Ben Heller. They promptly gave up 4 runs on 2 hits, 2 walks and a hit by pitch. Nick Gonzales made an error to help things along. With the game out of reach Shelton then uses Carmen Molodzinski, Dennis Santana and David Bednar. Molodzinski even pitched 2 innings. Why couldn’t he have pitched the 5th. As Ace Ventura pet detective said, “They are loo-loo-loo-losers.

Key Moment Of The Game: It was the top of the 5th when the Pirates decided the game was over even though the score was 5-2. Jalen Beeks gets one out but a single and an error puts runners on 1st and 2nd. Shelton then decides to put Ben From Heller into the game. He strikes out the first batter he faces. In the next 21 pitches he throws 7 strikes which result in a hit batter, 2 walks, a single, and before you could say Derek Shelton is clueless the score is 9-2. After the game is out of reach, he brings in the A squad bullpen and they shut them out the rest of the way without giving up a hit. Great managerial moves.

Next Game: This afternoon, Cubs in Pittsburgh. Paul Skenes goes for the Pirates today. I hear they are going to only let him go 3 innings to improve their position in the draft lottery. A season that was full of hope is spiraling into a mess. To show you how bad this team is, Michael Taylor, who was put on waivers, but nobody wanted him, is 5th in WAR among all the position players on the Pirates. This includes the players they acquired at the deadline and what they did for their previous teams. Let that one sink in for a while.

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Pirates Morning Report: What A Debacle

Final Score: Pirates 8 Cubs 18

Why The Pirates Lost + Key Moment Of The Game: I am combining these two because there is too much of a tie in. What is hard to believe is that after 5 innings the score was 3-2 Cubs. That is when the Pirates decided to throw in the towel. That is the only reason I can think of for leaving Domingo German in the game to take that beating. There were plenty of arms in the bullpen. I wonder when they decided to just give up. They put what’s his name in finally and he took another beating. The Pirates are more interested in creating feel good stories than they are in winning games. Just think in the last 3 games Rowdy (Call Me Shohei) Tellez has made more pitching appearances in the last 3 games than Bednar. Maybe they are considering making him the closer. Speaking of moves the Pirates announced they are moving Oneil Cruz to centerfield. All I can say it is about time, although I would have preferred him in right, but none the less putting him in the outfield should keep down the wear and tear on his body. He DH last night and already Greg Brown was questioning what his effort would be at the plate. This from a man that puts forth no effort in the booth. Henry Davis still looks lost at the plate. He will always be known as Mr. AAA.

Next Game: Tonight, Cubs in Pittsburgh. Jarred Jones will start tonight after almost a two month stint on the IL. He has been told that he won’t be removed from the game until he gives up 10 runs no matter what his pitch count is. The bullpen is so well rested that none of them remember how to pitch. Domingo German was told he may even pitch tonight if the game is close going into the 7th. David Bednar was told not to come to the park tonight because they are saving him for the Guardian series. In any other organization heads would roll but it is not happening here.

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Pirates Morning Report: Another Bullpen Failure, Wait, What? Grandal Hit Walk Off Homer, No Way

Final Score: Pirates 4 Reds 3

Why The Pirates Won: Despite a bullpen disaster inning, the Pirates were able to pull out a victory, thanks to an unexpected walk off home run by none other than Yasmani Grandal. Luis Ortiz pitched a scoreless 6 innings, but he had traffic on the bases every inning except the fifth. He was able to wiggle off the hook every time. The Reds were 1 for 7 with runners in scoring position and left 10 men on base for the game. A side note, Edwin Diaz gave up a walk off homer later against the San Diego Padres. This may have been the first time in major league history that brothers gave up walk off homers on the same day.

Key Moment Of The Game: Obviously, Grandal’s homer won the game, but it was the top of the 7th where the Reds let the game slip away, negating the Pirates management team’s efforts to give the game away. It was 2-0 Pirates, when Kyle Nicolas came on in relief of Ortiz. After one out Nicolas gave up a single and a double to put runners on 2nd and 3rd. This is where The Shadow’s brain spun out of control. There were all kinds of things to do here. What does The Shadow do in this key moment of the game. He brings in Jalen (What’s A High Leverage Situation) Beeks. Have you ever heard of Alroldis Chapman? Beeks takes total control of the game, but for the Reds. To be fair, Elly De La Cruz’s single to score the first run was just a little bloop and he was able to get to second because Rowdy Tellez made a half hearted effort to cut the throw off. However, after that Beeks took over. Intentional walk, booted bunt and walking in the go ahead run is about as bad as it gets. Even The Shadow had seen enough. He brought in Dennis (I Will Never Say Another Bad Word About You) Santana). In what I consider the key at bat of the game, Santana got Santiago Espinal to hit a shallow weak liner to right field that failed to score a run. It was a 7 pitch at bat where only 2 balls were in the strike zone. He could have easily walked. Santana was able to get Dominic Smith to fly out to center field on a 2-0 count to end the inning. The Reds failed to break open the game, which set up the dramatic walk off win for the Pirates. By the way, The Shadow knows that Chapman is on the team. He pitched the 9th.

Next Game: Tonight, Cubs in Pittsburgh. According to Greg Brown, the Cubs will be facing Mitch Keller, Jarred Jones, and Paul Skenes in the series. I would put my faith in that because he does know we are playing the Cubs and not the White Sox. If this is true, a sweep is a must.

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Pirates Morning Report: The Woodford Curse Continues

Final Score: Pirates 2. Reds 10

Why The Pirates Lost: The Jake (From State Farms) Woodford curse continued and now it seems to have affected every phase of the Pirates game. The Pirates could not hit, field, run the bases, or throw to the right bases, all day. They only had 3 hits. On the pitching side they got hammered for 10 runs, 12 hits, and walked 3. The curse even ended Ben (Go To) Heller’s scoreless inning streak as he gave up 2 runs in 2 innings to keep his ERA at double digits. The Pirates decided to desecrate the game even more by having Rowdy Tellez pitch the 9th inning. This was one of the worst games of the year for this pathetic group of losers.

Key Moment Of The Game: The first inning Woodford was able to get the first out of the inning. Then 8 out of the next 10 pitches were called balls. On the Tyler Stephenson at bat the first two pitches could have been called strikes but the umpire fell under the curse of Woodford and could not raise his right arm. TJ Friedl singled to right to drive in the first run and the Pirates decided to forget about baseball fundamentals for the rest of the game, another result of the curse. A double, steal of third and a sacrifice fly gave the Reds a quick 4-0 lead. At that point you knew two things. The game was over and the Woodford curse had not been broken.

Next Game: This afternoon, the Reds in Pittsburgh. Luis Ortiz goes for the Pirates today and let’s hope there are no curse left overs. It would be nice to see the Pirates get a series win but I do not think this is likely. Neither one of these teams, that seem to have an abundance of talent, are fundamentally sound. Both teams are unlikely to make the playoffs. I wonder why? Do you think the Shelton knows? I doubt it. Talk about a couple of clueless managers.

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Pirates Morning Report: Big Comeback Win

Final Score: Pirates 6 Reds 5

Why The Pirates Won: After 4 innings, the Pirates trailed 5-0 and had not had a man on base. In the top of the 5th Oneil Cruz made a great defensive play on a sharply hit ground ball to end the inning. Things started going the Pirates way in the bottom of the 5th. They opened the inning with 3 hits, but 2 of the hits had exit velocities of under 70 MPH. Two ground outs, a single, and a throwing error by the Reds, you knew they were going to help some way, enabled the Pirates to score 4 runs and they were back in the game. They added 2 runs in the 6th to take the 6-5 lead they barely held onto. Why oh why are they continuing to use David Bednar in the 9th. After giving up an opening double he somehow escaped without giving up the tying or go ahead run, again. Elly De La Cruz hit an opposite field 95 MPH line drive that Billy (Not Just Bill) McKinney was able to make a sliding catch, to end the game. WOW!

Key Moments Of The Game: The Pirates scored 4 runs in the 5th and 2 runs in the 6th on several hits that were inches from being outs or foul balls. The doubles by the Cruz’s were nothing more than pop ups that were perfectly placed down the right and left field foul lines. Neither ball was hit over 80 MPH and they were just fair by inches. Joey Bart had two singles that were carbon copies of each other that were perfectly placed in center field, again not over 80 MPH. The Pirates scored 2 runs on ground balls because they were weakly hit. It was two innings where everything went right for the Pirates. Aroldis Chapman pitched the 8th and after getting the first 2 outs, gave up a walk and a single to put runners on 1st and 3rd. Thank God, Stuart Fairchild had just watched the Andy Haines hitting video and did not swing at a pitch to strike out on 6 pitches, to end the inning. Bednar got away with his shaky performance and the Pirates had an unexpected come from behind win.

Next Game: Tonight, Reds in Pittsburgh. Jake (Please Don’t Let Me See A Black Cat Today) Woodford will take the mound tonight. If the Pirates somehow win this game tonight, there could be hope for this season. Will the Woodford curse end tonight? Who knows, only the Shelton knows.

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Pirates Morning Report: Skenes + Big 2 Out Crooked Number=Win

Final Score: Pirates 7 Reds 0

Why The Pirates Won: Paul Skenes was his usual brilliant self going 6 innings giving up 2 hits, 1 walk, while striking out 9 batters. In the last 26 out of 27 innings the Pirate’s pitching staff has not been scored upon while allowing 11 hits, walking 4, and striking out 33 batters. Then there’s Bednar. The Pirates put up the big crooked number in the bottom of the fifth, thanks to control issues by Nick Lodolo, a botched run down play, and big hits by the Cruz not brothers, to score 6 runs. Ben (The Pitcher From) Heller watch continues, going another 2 scoreless innings to lower his ERA to 10.61.

Key Moment Of The Game: In that 6 run bottom of the 5th, the Pirates had the bases loaded thanks to 2 walks and a hit by pitch. There were 2 outs, with Bryan Reynolds at the plate. He hit a ground ball up the middle that Elly De La Cruz made a nice stop on and flipped the ball to second. Isiah Kiner-Falefa made the unusual move of just running through the bag and not sliding. He was ruled safe and when the Reds botched up the rundown the Pirates still had the bases loaded and led 1-0. The Pirates would have led 1-0, but the inning should have been over. Joey Bart got hit by a pitch to make the score 2-0. The Pirates scored 2 runs up to that point with only 1 hit and it did not leave the infield. Bryan De La Cruz hit a big 2 out double to clear the bases and this game was over. Thank you, Cincinnati Reds.

Next Game: Tonight, Reds in Pittsburgh. Barry No Falter Insurance goes for the Pirates and despite the win last night I can’t really generate much enthusiasm for this team. The win was related more to the Red’s incompetence than the Pirates skill. The Pirates are to the point where they have to win all of these games against the Reds and Cubs before they can even remotely think about being in the playoff hunt again.

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Pirates Morning Report: After Several Missed Opportunities, Bednar Made Them Pay

Final Score: Pirates 0 Rangers 1

Why The Pirates Lost: Despite getting 8 hits, 2 walks, one hit by pitch, and one Ranger error, the Pirates could not push a run across the plate. They were retired in order 3 times, so they did all of this in 6 innings. They were 0 for 6 with runners in scoring position and left 10 men on base. They struck out 16 times. All of this wasted a surprisingly strong start by Domingo German. He went 6 innings giving up 0 runs, 3 hits, walking 4, striking out 4 while throwing just 75 pitches. Kyle Nicholas and Aroldis Chapman pitched a solid 7th and 8th striking out 5 of the 6 batters they faced. The Pirate pitching staff had held the Rangers scoreless for 22 innings. So far in this game they had given up just 3 hits. In came David (You Should Have Scored Some Runs) Bednar to pitch the bottom of the 9th. The first pitch was hit between first and second and Isiah Kiner-Falefa’s throw from his knees was off line but a normal 1st baseman would have been able to stay on the bag. Of course, we have Tellez. On the 3rd pitch of the inning Adolis Garcia singled to left to put runners on 1st and 2nd. A long fly to right on the 5th pitch of the inning moved the runner to 3rd. Bednar struck out the next batter just to tease us. Wyatt Langford put the Pirates out of their misery with a single to center to win the game. I will say, it was a pretty good pitch on the inside of the plate that he was able to muscle into the outfield.

Key Moments Of The Game: Top of the 2nd, bases loaded 1 out, no runs. Top of the 5th bases loaded 2 outs no runs. Top of the 7th, 1st and 2nd, no outs, thanks to base running blunder, no runs. There were other chances but these were the worst. It is just too painful to write about this game any more.

Next Game: Tonight, Reds in Pittsburgh. Paul Skenes opens the 7 game home stand in 7 days and I can guarantee you he won’t have any trouble making another start before the end of the stand. Enough said, but the pitching staff could not have done much more yesterday. You just can’t overcome an incompetent offense.

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Pirates Morning Report: Cruzin With Keller

Final Score: Pirates 4 Rangers 0

Why The Pirates Won: Mitch Keller had a great bounce back start going 7+ innings allowing only 3 hits, no walks, while striking out 9. The Rangers never had a runner in scoring position the entire game. The Cruz boys Oneil and Bryan De La drove in a total of 3 runs in the 4th inning which was more than enough for the Pirates to win. It was a totally dominant performance by Keller and the bullpen cruzed (I can’t help myself) home to complete a nice win for the Pirates.

Key Moment Of The Game: After going 9 up and 9 down Isiah Kiner-Falefa started the 4th inning with a single to left. Bryan Reynolds and Joey Bart both struck out. Conner Joe on an odd looking swing hit a ball right down the right field line that appeared to hit off the wall back onto the field for a triple and yippee the Pirates had a 1-0 lead. Wrong, odd ground rule breath. The ball hit the railing above wall and a book rule double was the call and the run was taken off the board. The Cruz gang came through to overcome such bad luck, with Bryan De La getting a line drive single that could only be short hopped by the Ranger’s center fielder, and Oneil lined a triple just over the glove of the Ranger’s right fielder to give the Pirates a 3-0 lead that was never threatened.

The Next Game: This afternoon, Rangers in Texas. We don’t know who is starting today for the Pirates. A series win would be very nice on the road. It would be great momentum going into the next 7 home games against the Reds and the Cubs. I wonder if Shelton realizes that. Probably not, but maybe the Pirates will win anyway.

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Pirates Morning Report: Seager 4, Pirates 3

Final Score: Pirates 3 Rangers 4

Why The Pirates Lost: When your 1,2,3,5 and 6 hitters go 1 for 19 with 6 strikeouts, you are not going to win many games. Grandal batting 6th is a mystery to me. I’m in San Diego right now where the Padres are playing the Twins. Carlos Santana and that great glove has hit 18 home runs, slugging .428, has an OPS+110 and a 1.9 WAR. The Pirates saved 2 million dollars by signing Rawhide Rowdy Tellez who has 10 home runs, slugging a whopping .388, an OPS+ 90 and a negative 0.3 WAR. I wrote out the word negative just to emphasize the fact that he stinks. I am sure Bob Nothing is so happy he saved 2 million while he thinks of an excuse not to pitch Skenes on Wednesday. Ortiz pitched a decent game going 6 innings, striking out 7, walking one and giving up 5 hits. However, he grooved 2 pitches right down the middle to Corey Seager, paying the ultimate price as he blasted 2 home runs to drive in all 4 runs.

Key Moment Of The Game: Even though it was counteracted by the Jarod Triolo’s 3 run homer an inning later, the 3 run homer by Seager was the key hit of the game. It was the first pitch of the at bat and it could not have been more grooved down the middle, even if Ortiz had tried to do that. With that Pirate lineup you just had the feeling it was going to be enough to win the game. The Pirates had a few minor threats the rest of the game but could not get the big hit. The are thoroughly entrenched in last place a full 14 games behind the Brewers. The management team should be so proud.

Next game: Tonight, Rangers in Texas. Mitch Keller starts tonight and we will see if he can get his act together after two horrendous starts where he has given up 15 runs in 9 innings of work. Those are Ben Heller kind of numbers. Maybe Grandal will bat clean up tonight.

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Pirates Morning Report: No Momentum For The Pirates

Final Score: Pirates 3 Mariners 10

Why The Pirates Lost: Jake Woodford got lit up pretty good, but a dark cloud still hovers over him, literally. He had to pitch in a downpour in the 2nd inning and 2 of the 7 runs he gave up were unearned as the Pirates botched up a routine play. The offense could only get 5 hits and 3 runs as the Mariners blew the Pirates away to salvage the final game of the series. Ben Heller pitched a scoreless 1 and 1/3 innings to bring his ERA down to 13.50. The Pirates needed to get some real momentum going but failed miserably in every phase of the game.

Key Moment Of The Game: The throwing error by Jared (I Don’t Belong In The Major Leagues) Triolo really opened up the gates when the Pirates at least had a chance to win. The Pirates now go on an unusually scheduled 3 game road trip to Texas before returning home to face the Reds on Thursday. The next 10 games are against teams with losing records. Eight out of ten wins is a must. I am not expecting it.

The Next Game: Tonight, the Rangers in Texas. Luis Ortiz will start for the Pirates, and he has had a couple of rough outings. I noticed that Keller is pitching on Tuesday but on Wednesday it is TBD which would have been Skenes’s turn. I am sure they are going to hold him off until they return home to sell tickets, to hell with winning games. Maybe they might bring Jones back then, but I doubt it. This organization had no intention of making the playoffs this season. Their horrible free agent signings over this past winter basically proves the point.