Pirates Morning Report, Are You Sure That’s Not Josh Van Meter

Final Scores: Day Game: Pirates 6 Reds 1 Night Game: Pirates 1 Reds 0

How The 2023 Pirates Did: First of all, the Pirates snuck a game in on me, as I did not realize they were playing another day night doubleheader. The 2023 Pirates won game 1 with 7 players and a potential pitcher for 2023. In game 2 only 6 of the 2023 Pirates were in the lineup which does not qualify them for the win. The Pirates did start someone by the name of Zack Collins who is listed as a catcher. However, he started at 1st base and suspiciously looked a lot like Josh Van Meter to me. Whatever, Zack Josh Van Collins Meter will not be playing for the Pirates in 2023. He certainly hit like Van Meter going 0 for 3 with a strike out. I did see him getting fingerprinted after the game. The 2023 Pirates lit it up again in game 1 hitting 3 homers, one each by Bryan Reynolds, Ke’Bryan Hayes and Cal Mitchell. The Pirates only got 3 hits in game 2, with only Castro getting the hit for the 2023 Pirates. The story of the day was the great pitching the Pirates got from potential members of the 2023 rotation. In game 1 Johan Oviedo pitched 5 innings of 1 hit ball, walking 2 and striking out 4 while only throwing 74 pitches. In game 2 Luis Ortiz made his Pirate debut allowing only 1 hit, walking 3, striking out 5 in 5.2 innings while throwing 83 pitches. It was a great day for the young arms of the Pirates.

Key Moment of The Day: In game 2 in the bottom of the 9th, the Pirates brought in Dwayne (I know how to lose games) Underwood Junior to pitch. The Reds could not even figure him out and after a 2 out walk to give the Pirate management hope that DUJ would blow another one, he got the next batter to hit a weak pop up to left field to end the game. The dejected look on The Shadow’s face told the whole story, as the Pirates moved into a tie with the Detroit Tigers for the 3rd worst record in baseball. What looked like a possibility of the overall no.1 pick in the draft is now slowly, painfully slipping away. The Pirate management team has scheduled a major meeting on Thursday to see what can be done. It will be long because the memo said bring your lunch.

Next Game: This afternoon, Reds in Cincinnati. If Zack Collins starts today, then I will know for sure that is Josh Van Meter. Just who the hell is Zack Collins anyway. Can someone please show me his driver licence. The 2023 Pirates have now raised their record to 6-6. It could have been 7-6 if it wasn’t for Zack (Josh Van Meter) Collins.

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