Pirates Morning Report: Wow! This Is Hard To Watch

Final Score: Pirates 0 Cardinals 4

Why The Pirates Lost: What an offensive offensive performance. The entire season can be summed up by one horrible at bat by Rawhide Rowdy (You Should Be Thankful That I Hit For A Couple Of Months) Tellez. First of all, he pinch hit for Billy Cook. Why, I do not know. You would think you would want to give a young player as many chances to get at bats at this level as possible, especially at this point in the season. Obviously, Shelton’s brain does not function this way or at all. Meanwhile getting back to worthless Tellez, he takes the first two pitches for strikes that were right down the middle. He does take the next pitch, God love him, that was at least a foot outside. He does restore your faith in the Pirate offense by striking out on a pitch that was inside down around his ankles. Meanwhile, Billy Cook learns nothing, other than the fact that he hopes he is not on the same team as Tellez next year. The rest of the offense was just as bad, striking out 12 times, going 0 for 4 with runners in scoring position and only collecting 4 hits. They struck out 9 times against a pitcher who never struck out more than 6 in a game this year. After Kyle Nicolas left in the bottom of the 8th with an injury, Shelton brought in his favorite reliever. Jalen (I Throw Off The Plate Or Right Down The Middle) Beeks. The efficient Beeks gave up 2 runs on 2 hits on only 7 pitches. Another great pickup by the Pirates. All of this wasted another excellent pitching performance by Paul Skenes giving up just one run on 4 hits to lower his ERA to 2.07. Skenes just told his girlfriend that he wishes he had been the 2nd overall pick.

The Key Moment Of The Game: Simply put, when the game was turned over to the Pirate bullpen. In the bottom of the 7th the Cardinals loaded the bases without hitting a ball past the pitcher. They were only able to score one run to make the score 2-0. They scored 2 more in the bottom of the 8th when Jalen Beeks decided to throw batting practice. The road trip is off to an auspicious start.

Next Game: Unfortunately, there is, tonight, Cardinals in St. Louis. Who cares? Certainly not the Pirates.